Life Struggles

Looking At Life In A Different Way

‘Look at life as a journey and enjoy the ride. Get the most out of the detours and realize they’re sometimes necessary.’ Donna Fargo

The above quote has a lot of meaning for me. When we see life unfolding as a beautiful gift, instead of judging what is happening in our life we allow ourselves to enjoy the ride instead of fearing it.

Let me tell you a little story about Oscar whose name has been changed. Oscar had just opened a new restaurant and was worrying constantly about making sure his customers were happy and attracting new ones. When business was good, he was on top of the world and if it slowed down he felt anxious and fearful. Oscar’s advisors told him this was normal and not to worry. Then one night a customer complained about the food in a loud voice and would not pay the bill. Oscar was distraught and was thinking about selling the business because he could not take all the pressure.

After the last customer left he sat down with his manager to discuss the incident which happened that night. His manager who had worked in the restaurant business for many, many years explained what happened was not out of the ordinary. Instead of looking at it as a horrible incident what could they learn from the situation?

After discussing the situation for awhile they both realized the customer was right, because he ordered his steak well done instead of medium. What they both learned was that the chefs had to pay more attention to what was ordered instead of just guessing. They both decided to have the waiters underline in red if a customer ordered their food in a special way.

Oscar learned that sometimes when things happen in our lives they are necessary. He started to relax, welcomed the learning experiences and enjoyed his customers. Today Oscar owns two very successful restaurants.

How would your life be different if you enjoyed the ride and learned from your not so pleasant experiences? I invite you today to take one of the small steps below, to change your perspective about life.

1. If you start to worry about something, stop for a moment and acknowledge the thought.
2. Give yourself permission to worry about it for awhile.
3. Ask yourself what can I learn from this situation?
4. Think about one thing you can do to change the situation.
5. Take action.

I would love to hear from you about your different learning experiences. Together we can support each other by contributing to this community our experiences, successes and wisdom. You are invited to leave comments on this blog or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

Support While Struggling With Food

Do you feel alone on your journey as you are struggling with food? This is a very common feeling among us riding the roller coaster of weight control. There is a very easy solution, get support. Easier said than done!

At 3:30am this morning I was sleeping peacefully when a thought popped into my head and woke me up. Start a Monday morning group call supporting each other to make life easier. What a great idea and I jumped out of bed and started typing. I felt this was a message from the Universe.

Every Monday, 7:00am to 7:30am EST
Monday Morning Intention Setting Calls

Share time with other successful people while announcing your intentions for the week and what small step you are going to take. You also have a choice of simply listening and just writing down your intention and small step.

The calls start by taking a few moments to silently think about what you want to focus on during the week. Then as a group we can share our intention and the step we are going to take during the week. An example: My intention this week is not to binge when I come home from work. The small step I am going to take: Every day at 5:30 pm I will light a candle, make myself a cup of tea, and listen to music for just 10 minutes. Then prepare dinner.

Come join and receive support from others. Monday Morning Intention Setting calls are ongoing ~ join every Monday morning. Mark your calendar to be with us on the calls. The calls are starting Monday, August 13, 2007 at 7:00am.

Please email me at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net for details regarding the call.

People Helping Each Other

Do you feel good when someone helps you? If you answer, “Yes” to this question you are in the majority. The reason being we are feeling special at the time and someone takes the time to acknowledge us.

Yesterday was an example of someone going out of their way for me and how grateful I felt. While my grandson Jeffrey was in karate and sparing with another child his elbow was hurt. After making trips to different hospitals and doctor’s offices we learned that his elbow was dislocated and maybe broken. His entire arm was put in a dark blue cast (his choice of color.)

The hospital where the specialist was located was in a very bad neighborhood. My next thought after finding out Jeffrey only needed a cast was that there had to be a safer way to get back to the highway. I asked different nurses and doctors for directions to the highway. The surgeon who took care of Jeffrey lived near us and led us back to the highway. What I learned from this situation was to ask for help.

This same situation can be applied when we are struggling with food. In most cases, changing your eating habits is a monumental task if you do it alone. With support the task becomes easier. Please ask yourself the question, “Who can I contact to help me with my struggle with food?” Then take the next step and contact that person. I am also available for support. You can either contact me by leaving a comment on this blog or send an email to helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net. You have options so why do it alone?

Reaching Out to Others

Do you ever feel you are alone in the world? You are not alone! This is one of the biggest complaints many people express. We just don’t realize that all it takes is one little step to change this situation and talk to someone.

Sometimes we find it easier to hire a professional, discuss with them our challenges and find a solution. Other times all it takes is calling a friend and scheduling time to have a cup of coffee or tea together. Also, there are 12 Step meetings you can attend, especially Over Eaters Anonymous. What you are doing is interacting with others so you don’t feel alone.

This past week I have been feeling alone and isolating myself from others. My daughter and I share a family membership at a local organic farm and Tuesday is our scheduled day to pick-up our vegetables. My daughter this Tuesday asked if I would pick-up our share of vegetables at the farm. I really did not want to go and out of guilt I told her that I would be happy to pick-up our share. A few minutes later I called my grandson Jeffrey, who hates to go to the farm, and asked if he would like to go with me. I bribed him by saying we would get him a cold drink before we went to the farm. That did the trick and 30 minutes later we were on the way to the farm.

Driving in the car we played games, sang songs and had a great time together. While Jeffrey and I were picking the vegetables there was a photographer from a local newspaper taking pictures. He asked if he could take Jeffrey and my picture. I will let you know if our picture is in the paper.

Not only did I have fun going to the farm, it made me realize that being with someone else I did not feel alone. Who can you spend sometime with today and not feel alone.

As always, I would love to hear about your different experiences, stories and challenges. Together on this blog we can build a community to support each other on our journey of getting off the diet merry-go-round and into a vibrant life. The way to build this community is by leaving comments below this article or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net. I would love to hear from you.

Secret for Losing Weight

This is a continuation of yesterday’s Getting OFF the Diet Merry-Go-Round article, discussing your commitment to take the necessary steps to lose weight or have “the diet” do the work for you.

Are you hoping “the diet” will allow you to lose weight and you won’t have to change your thinking about food or eating habits? If you answer “Yes” to this question, you have taken the first step in realizing what is stopping you from succeeding. This realization is an opportunity you can explore and then develop a plan to change your thinking and habits. In a way this is a miracle!

If you would like to start exploring what is stopping you from succeeding please answer the following questions. Remember there is no right or wrong answers. The only thing we are doing is exploring what is hold you back from succeeding.

1. How many diets have you been on in the last year?
2. What successes did you have while on any one particular diet?
3. While on any of the diets did you change your think about food?
4. What happened to change your mind and start a new diet or just take a break from dieting?
5. What eating habits do you still follow when you either changed diets or stopped dieting? (Example: I never eat standing up.)

After completing this exercise what thoughts and ideas did you come up with? Please share your ideas and thoughts by leaving a comment or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

I need your help in building a community where we can support each other in our journey. Please let me know if you are interested by leaving a comment or sending me an email. I look forward to hearing from you.

Affirmation Today: There is a solution and I am losing weight.

Nothing Works and I Can't Stop Eating

I received a call from a client a few days ago saying she tried different tools to stop herself from eating and nothing worked. Do you ever have this problem?

I explained to her that as human beings we are not perfect and sometimes the desire to eat overpowers us. The first step after we eat is to forgive ourselves. This step for her was very hard. We then discussed the fact that if she constantly beat herself up over eating, the thoughts of food would be on her mind and what happens she will start eating again.

We discussed different options she could take at this point, she decided to acknowledge herself for eating and take a 10 minute mini-vacation. A mini-vacation is doing something nice for yourself for at least 10 minutes. Her 10 mini-vacation after our conversation was to light a candle, listen to music and just relax.

During her next scheduled coaching session she told me, “After taking my mini-vacation I felt relaxed and was able to enjoy the rest of the day.” Later during the session we brainstormed ideas which might help her when the desire to eat was very strong. Following are some of the ideas she discovered:

1. Brush her teeth and take a walk.
2. Light a candle, listen to music and make herself a cup of tea. One of my other clients makes her favorite blueberry smoothie.
3. Call someone for support.
4. Check Helen’s blog for ideas.

The most important thing to remember is that we are all human beings and not perfect. This journey we are on is a learning experience and working together we will change our eating habits.

Please let me know what tools and tips you use when the desire to eat overwhelms you. I would love to post on my blog as many tips as possible so when the desire to eat is very strong all you would have to do is check my blog for some ideas.

You can reach me by leaving a comment under this article or send an email to helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Helen

STOP The Diet Thinking!

Are you ready to put your diet thinking to sleep once and for all? I have been getting emails from people who are frustrated and tired of worrying about how they are going to lose weight and keep it off. Don’t give up hope, there is an easy answer.

While working with clients and from my own experiences, I have found by following some of the small steps it will make a difference in your thinking and behavior:

1. Leave a voicemail on your phone at least once a day, thanking yourself for who you are. It might sound crazy and after a few days you start looking forward to the message.

2. Acknowledge yourself for your accomplishments.

3. Prepare a special meal for yourself at least once a week.

4. Schedule time in your calendar to have fun with your children or husband/boyfriend or a good friend.

5. Research different diet plans and don’t start a new diet until you feel it is the right one for you.

The bottom line is being kind to yourself. I love the following quote:

“Be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars.
In the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.”
Max Ehrmann

A Word of Advice

A Word of Advice
By Marsha Reid

I want to tell you
to go ahead and reach out
for what you want.

I want to tell you
to go ahead and try;
try to make the things happen
that you want to happen.

Along the way
there may be some pain,
disappointment and doubt,
but if you never try,
you’ll never know
what might have been,
and you’ll always wonder
“what if” and “if only…”

Even though you
might be scared,
you’ll have reason to be
proud of yourself
and glad that you dared

to reach out
for the dreams
that only you
can make come true.

The above poem signifies the reason and courage we all need to get started today on our new healthy lifestyle journey. All it takes is one little step to get started. One small step you can take today is compliment yourself at least once a day.

After reading this poem and maybe taking the small step of complimenting yourself, please let me know what feelings and ideas formed. I am looking forward to hearing from you. You can reach me by leaving a comment on the blog or sending an email to helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

Eating Does Not Make You Feel Better

Do you ever think, “Wouldn’t it be great to sit down with a large bag of pretzels, ice cream and a large bottle of soda with sugar and caffeine?” Join the group!!! I then ask you the question, “Will doing this really make you feel better?” At first the answer would be ‘YES’ and then thinking about it, your rational thoughts would say, “NO.”

I was watching the movie “The Holiday” last night, which is about two women in dead-end relationships who decided to swap homes. In one of the scenes Los Angeles resident Amanda (Cameon Diaz) tells her employees that she is taking a week off to get away and eat as many carbs as she wants. After arriving in England, she goes to the food store and buys all the carbs she can find. While paying for her food the person asks, “Are you having a party tonight?” I have been there and done that. It is so embarrassing I wanted to hide.

Going back to the house, eating everything, feeling sick she realizes that the food will not make her feel better. I thought, welcome to reality; food will never make you feel better!

When you are lonely here are some steps you can take to put a smile on your face:
1. Write yourself a love letter and mail it to yourself.
2. Write a list of things that make you happy and try one of them.
3. Call a friend.
4. Go to a local coffee shop or bookstore, buy a cup of coffee or tea or a bottle of water and look at the books.
5. Play a game with your children.
6. Call your grandchildren or nieces and nephews. Calling my grandchildren always make me feel better.

As always, I would love to hear what you are experiencing on your life's journey. Please feel free to contact me with your stories, comments, and ideas. Write to me by leaving your comments at the bottom of this article or send an email to helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.