Dieter's Thoughts About Going To A Party

Does this situation sound familiar? You are invited to a party and will be seeing many friends you have not seen in over a year. The first thought that comes to your mind, “I wish I was 10 lbs lighter and what am I going to wear that will make me look good?”

These thoughts are very common among people who are struggling with food. Does this sound true, the last diet only worked for the first couple of weeks and then either you did not continue to lose weight or started to eat again? I hate to say this is a natural occurrence in our lives.

Let’s look at this situation in another way. Be kind to yourself! Go to your closet and pick out the outfit you feel comfortable wearing and put on a pretty necklace or earnings. When the thought comes up, “I don’t want to go” – STOP – and take a deep breath and thank your thought. Then immediately think about a friend you have not seen in awhile who will be at the party. By stopping the negative thought and thinking about something else changes your attitude. Another tool I use is to put a smile on my face and tell my cat “I look beautiful.”

I have been working with a client who has been on a new journey of eating healthy, exercising and losing weight. She was going to a Woman’s Networking Event and telling me if only she lost another 20lbs she would want to go to the event. We started to discuss the situation and she realized going to gatherings made her feeling uncomfortable. Then we discussed new tools she could use in changing her attitude. Some of the tools are as follows:

• Acknowledge her thought.
• Choice an outfit which made her feel comfortable.
• Think about her friends that were attending the event.
• Determine which marketing materials she would bring.
• Practice on her introduction speech.
• Before leaving for the event, read the following affirmation, put it on a piece of paper in her pocket and everytime a scary thought appears touch the affirmation:
“I am fabulous just the way I am and am having a great time.”

In a matter of minutes her attitude changed and she was looking forward to going. I got an email from her the other day saying, “Had a great time and only touched the affirmation 3 times.”

Is this the time in your life when you are tired of struggling with food and want to get into a vibrant life? As your coach I help you identify and connect with what in your life is more important than food. Support you in reconnecting with your forgotten dream or discovering what will truly make you happy and give you joy.

Please send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net and we can explore together ways of getting off the diet merry-go-round and into a vibrant life. How vibrant do you want your life to be?

MIRACLES DO HAPPEN

Last Friday night I went to an Overeaters Retreat for the weekend and getting there was a nightmare. My friend and I left around 6:30pm and planned to arrive at our destination in about 45 minutes.

I have a GPS System; we put in the address and entered all the required information. The final step had a different address and neither one of us thought there would be a problem. So off we went following the directions. The GPS lead us onto a dirt road that had the same Street name we were looking for. We were commenting how easy it was to find the Camp. After riding for quite awhile in a wooded area at night in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey; we realized we were on the wrong road. All of a sudden the GPS System announced we arrived at our destination on the left. As we looked to the left we saw a tree. I never felt such panic!

We called 911, told the police our location, how scared we were and to please help us find the Camp. The Policewoman told us not to worry; she stayed on the phone with us and led us to our destination. If ever I thought there was someone watching over us it was that night. Now as I am thinking and writing about our journey, I can laugh.

What I learned from this experience:
• Never use the GPS System if it does not give you the right address.
• Have back-up directions.
• It is OK to ask for help.
• Trust that things will work out.

Once we arrived at our destination and listened to the keynote speaker, I felt relaxed. Then I got into bed and my fears went wild. I could not stop thinking about what could have happened instead of being grateful for the miracle of arriving safely. The next day I started journaling and speaking to many people about my fear based thinking. Nothing made a difference.

I made a decision, if I wanted to enjoy the retreat I would have to start thinking positively. A miracle happened, I was asked to lead a workshop on “Fears and How They Stop Us.” It was a great opportunity for me to explore my fears and learn what other tools people use to feel safe.

Some of the tools that were suggested are as follows:
• When having a fearful thought give yourself a big hug and say, “I am safe.”
• Journal or discuss your fears with another person.
• Remember that FEAR is “False Evidence Appearing Real.”

What tools do you use when you feel fearful, I would love to know.