Calm your mind
“You can choose your thoughts. And you can choose, for a while, to be free of those thoughts.
Serenity does not require any particular environment or conditions on the outside. Serenity is a state you can achieve on the inside, whatever else might be going on.
At any time, you can choose to calm your mind. Clear your thoughts away and for a while, feel the refreshing and renewing peace of simply being.
Discover how easy it can be to let go of the thoughts racing through your head, and let in a feeling of serenity. Choose to put yourself in a state where even the distractions cannot affect you.
See that the disappointments of the past are far, far away.
Let your peaceful, accepting experience of the moment fill you with a solid, confident energy.
Step back for a little while and feel the calm reality of who you are, of the life you are living. Enjoy a serene moment, and your eyes will be opened to the positive possibilities that are all around you.”
Ralph Marston
While reading the above quote, I started thinking, “It is hard to stop the thoughts and feel the serenity Ralph Marston is taking about.” After listening to my thoughts for awhile I started thinking about different ways of stopping them. Some of the techniques you can use are as follows:
1. Acknowledge your thoughts, they usually disappear for awhile and then you can think about something else.
2. Close your eyes and take a deep breath.
3. Start a new activity. Example: Listen to music.
4. Give yourself a big hug and say outloud, “You are safe.”
5. Write down solutions to a challenge you are thinking about.
By taking some or all of the above steps my thoughts usually stop for a short time and I feel serenity.
Please share the tools and techniques you are using to stop your thinking and feel serenity? Together we can build a community in supporting each other.
Helen’s Opportunities and Gifts
Today my opportunity and gift was to have a conversation with someone regarding the possibility of offering my services to family members who are experiencing challenges in their lives. What today was your opportunity and gift?
Monday, January 28, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Golden Opportunities and Gifts
Living in the Present Moment
"Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best for the next moment."
Oprah Winfrey
Today is a new day and we have the choice to either dwelling in the past or future or become aware of the opportunities that are presenting themselves in the present moment. You may ask yourself, “How do I live in the present moment?”
Living in the present moment takes practice. Most of us are busy doing THINGS which we feel are very important and do not take the time to slow down and see what is happening around us.
My husband, Bob, would always say, “Look at those birds singing in the trees and isn’t it a shame most people don’t even see them.” Bob always took the time to enjoy nature. I on the other hand was always rushing around and never took the time to enjoy my surroundings. Slowly I began changing and noticing the beauty around me.
Some of the steps you can take to start living in the present moment are as follows:
1. Every so often take a deep breath and close your eyes.
2. Open your eyes and look for the beauty around you.
3. While sitting quietly listen to your inner voice.
4. Acknowledge yourself for taking the time.
Performing this exercise on a daily bases helped me to start living in the present moment. Today I am in touch with my inner voice and aware of the opportunities and gifts I am receiving on a daily basis.
The opportunities and gifts I have received today are as follows:
• Opportunity: I was able to fill the birdfeeders with food and then watch the birds out my office window.
• Gift: During this difficult time I am learning that people are very special and want to support me in anyway they can. I am also learning how to support others.
Please share with others who read this blog the steps you take to live in the present moment and what gifts and opportunities you are receiving today. Helen
"Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best for the next moment."
Oprah Winfrey
Today is a new day and we have the choice to either dwelling in the past or future or become aware of the opportunities that are presenting themselves in the present moment. You may ask yourself, “How do I live in the present moment?”
Living in the present moment takes practice. Most of us are busy doing THINGS which we feel are very important and do not take the time to slow down and see what is happening around us.
My husband, Bob, would always say, “Look at those birds singing in the trees and isn’t it a shame most people don’t even see them.” Bob always took the time to enjoy nature. I on the other hand was always rushing around and never took the time to enjoy my surroundings. Slowly I began changing and noticing the beauty around me.
Some of the steps you can take to start living in the present moment are as follows:
1. Every so often take a deep breath and close your eyes.
2. Open your eyes and look for the beauty around you.
3. While sitting quietly listen to your inner voice.
4. Acknowledge yourself for taking the time.
Performing this exercise on a daily bases helped me to start living in the present moment. Today I am in touch with my inner voice and aware of the opportunities and gifts I am receiving on a daily basis.
The opportunities and gifts I have received today are as follows:
• Opportunity: I was able to fill the birdfeeders with food and then watch the birds out my office window.
• Gift: During this difficult time I am learning that people are very special and want to support me in anyway they can. I am also learning how to support others.
Please share with others who read this blog the steps you take to live in the present moment and what gifts and opportunities you are receiving today. Helen
Monday, January 21, 2008
Life Goes On
Life’s Little Opportunities
We just returned from England where my husband Bob was buried with his family. He seems so far away and at the same time I feel he is with me.
Mindi, my daughter and I left for England last Tuesday night. I packed during the day and had everything to go. We arrived at the airport two hours before our scheduled flight. While checking in, it became evident that I had my cancelled passport instead of my current one. They would not let me on the plane.
We called my grandson and asked him to get my passport and bring it to the airport. I then called my neighbor and told her where she could find the passport. When she went into my house the alarm went off. While talking to the alarm company she was hysterical and it was a miracle they did not call the police. She then located the passport.
My grandson got the passport and then drove to the airport. He made it in record time. Once getting my passport and going through security we had thirty minutes to spare. What I learned was to trust the Universe that we would be on the plane. Once sitting on the plane we had a good laugh.
The flight to England was long and uneventful. We stayed with Bob’s brother and sister-in-law. On Thursday Bob was laid to rest with his family and as we were leaving the skies opened up and we got very, very wet. Running in the rain broke the tension and we had a nice ride home talking about Bob.
On Friday Mindi and I went to London. Once we got off the train we took the underground to the hotel. We got on the wrong train and ended up just outside of London. We had to take three trains to get where we wanted to go. The only problem was that everytime we had to take another train we had to carry our heavy luggage up and down steps. When we finally arrived at the hotel we were exhausted.
We enjoyed our short stay in London and came home on Saturday.
The gifts I received during this short trip are as follows:
1. Bringing Bob back to England.
2. Spending time with my husband’s family and getting to know them in a different way.
3. Learning that things work out.
4. Seeing that I could take care of myself in a foreign country.
5. Receiving the support and love from everyone.
“I am where I am because I believe in all possibilities. Whoopi Goldberg
We just returned from England where my husband Bob was buried with his family. He seems so far away and at the same time I feel he is with me.
Mindi, my daughter and I left for England last Tuesday night. I packed during the day and had everything to go. We arrived at the airport two hours before our scheduled flight. While checking in, it became evident that I had my cancelled passport instead of my current one. They would not let me on the plane.
We called my grandson and asked him to get my passport and bring it to the airport. I then called my neighbor and told her where she could find the passport. When she went into my house the alarm went off. While talking to the alarm company she was hysterical and it was a miracle they did not call the police. She then located the passport.
My grandson got the passport and then drove to the airport. He made it in record time. Once getting my passport and going through security we had thirty minutes to spare. What I learned was to trust the Universe that we would be on the plane. Once sitting on the plane we had a good laugh.
The flight to England was long and uneventful. We stayed with Bob’s brother and sister-in-law. On Thursday Bob was laid to rest with his family and as we were leaving the skies opened up and we got very, very wet. Running in the rain broke the tension and we had a nice ride home talking about Bob.
On Friday Mindi and I went to London. Once we got off the train we took the underground to the hotel. We got on the wrong train and ended up just outside of London. We had to take three trains to get where we wanted to go. The only problem was that everytime we had to take another train we had to carry our heavy luggage up and down steps. When we finally arrived at the hotel we were exhausted.
We enjoyed our short stay in London and came home on Saturday.
The gifts I received during this short trip are as follows:
1. Bringing Bob back to England.
2. Spending time with my husband’s family and getting to know them in a different way.
3. Learning that things work out.
4. Seeing that I could take care of myself in a foreign country.
5. Receiving the support and love from everyone.
“I am where I am because I believe in all possibilities. Whoopi Goldberg
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Losing Your Best Friend
The last two weeks have been a nightmare. My husband, Bob, had a massive heart attack on Saturday, January 5, 2008 and pasted away on Thursday, January 10, 2008. He was a very young 72 year old, still working, playing tennis and very active.
The best part is that he did not suffer, surrounded by love from his family and died with dignity. As someone told me he had an angle’s death.
I realize today that I have been blessed with the most loving and caring family and friends. They have been by my side since January 5, 2008. I feel so loved and supported. I wonder why it takes a hardship to realize what you have.
What really helped me cope was focusing on the opportunities instead of the negative. I looked at the fact Bob was not suffering, had 15 of our family members and friends sending him love and his favorite classical music playing on the iPOD speaker. The room felt so peaceful.
Today is a new day and life goes on. I feel Bob is in my heart and I have received a beautiful gift of being married to him for 21 years. He taught me how to love another person, share my thoughts and not be criticized, how to love classical music and English history. The list goes on and on.
My Grandson, JJ sent me the following poem:
TOMORROW
when tomorrow starts without me, and i'm not here to see, if the sun should rise and find your eye all filled with tears for me. i wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today, while thinking of the many things, we didn't get to say. i kno how much you love me, as much as i love you, and each time that you think of me, i kno you'll miss me too. so, when tomorrow starts without me, don't think that we're apart. for every time you think of me, i'm right here in your heart.
WE WILL ALWAYS BE MISSING AND THINKING OF YOU!!!
-Johnathan Hinshaw-
The best part is that he did not suffer, surrounded by love from his family and died with dignity. As someone told me he had an angle’s death.
I realize today that I have been blessed with the most loving and caring family and friends. They have been by my side since January 5, 2008. I feel so loved and supported. I wonder why it takes a hardship to realize what you have.
What really helped me cope was focusing on the opportunities instead of the negative. I looked at the fact Bob was not suffering, had 15 of our family members and friends sending him love and his favorite classical music playing on the iPOD speaker. The room felt so peaceful.
Today is a new day and life goes on. I feel Bob is in my heart and I have received a beautiful gift of being married to him for 21 years. He taught me how to love another person, share my thoughts and not be criticized, how to love classical music and English history. The list goes on and on.
My Grandson, JJ sent me the following poem:
TOMORROW
when tomorrow starts without me, and i'm not here to see, if the sun should rise and find your eye all filled with tears for me. i wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today, while thinking of the many things, we didn't get to say. i kno how much you love me, as much as i love you, and each time that you think of me, i kno you'll miss me too. so, when tomorrow starts without me, don't think that we're apart. for every time you think of me, i'm right here in your heart.
WE WILL ALWAYS BE MISSING AND THINKING OF YOU!!!
-Johnathan Hinshaw-
Thursday, January 3, 2008
New Year's Resolutions Do Not Work
Today is January 3, 2008 and almost every email I am receiving is about, “Keeping Your New Year’s Resolutions and Achieving Your Goals.” Most of the articles report that our New Year’s Resolutions are forgotten within a short period of time.
An article written by Doug Vermeeren (www.douglasvermeeren.com) states, “The Traditional goal-setting formula most people follow was developed in the early 1900s in manufacturing to enable company executives to monitor the number of units coming out of a factory by a certain date. It’s a great measuring stick if you’re manufacturing products, but if you are trying to improve yourself or achieve something non-tangible, it’s a woefully ineffective and out-of-date process. For example, if your goal is to have a better relationship with your spouse, the traditional goal-setting formula simply won’t work.”
I realized after reading this information it is no wonder we become discouraged when the plan we devise to change our behaviors and habits does not work. What can we do differently?
Let’s take for example a mother wants to spend more time with her family at night instead of everyone doing their own thing. On New Year’s Day all the members of the Peach family sat around the kitchen table and discussed what each person would have to do each night so they could spend more time together. Their plan:
• Sally, mother, will help the children with their homework while dinner is cooking.
• Steve, father, will finish cooking the dinner when he gets home.
• Billy, 10 year old son, will walk the dog after everyone finishes eating.
• Susie, 7 year old daughter, will help her mother and father clean the kitchen after dinner.
When the kitchen was cleaned and Billy came back from walking the dog they played different board games and one night they worked on a 1000 piece puzzle. Everyone had a great time laughing and spending time together.
This plan worked for about two weeks and then everyone went back to their old routine of doing homework after dinner, taking forever to clean the kitchen and too tired to play any games.
What could they have done differently to ensure they would continue spending time together after dinner instead of going back to their old routine? The answer is to support each other in practicing this new behavior. An example: Susie had to finish a project which had to be done that night. Instead of the other family members doing their own thing they could have all worked together on the project and spent time together.
Changing a habit takes practice. We have our old habits for a very long time and changing them sometimes is hard work. The secret for changing a habit is to practice, practice, and practice the new behavior. Some steps you could take in changing your behaviors:
1. Decide what behavior you would like to change. Example: Pay my bills on time.
2. Determine what small steps you are going to take. Example: Schedule time in your calendar when you will pay the bills. This appointment is not to be changed.
3. If you want to revert back to your old behavior, think about the benefits of accomplishing the small step. Example: After paying your bills on time there won’t be any late charges for that month.
4. Seek support from a friend or family member. Together you can accomplish more with a team effort than alone.
5. Keep reminding yourself about your new behavior. Write it on a piece of paper and keep it in a place where you will see it all the time.
6. Celebrate after you have taken that small step.
7. Be kind to yourself if you slip. As my mother used to say, “Rome was not built in a day.” It takes time to change our behaviors.
8. Practice, practice and practice some more.
In a nut shell: Instead of making New Year’s Resolutions that are forgotten in a short period of time, change your behaviors by taking small steps, acknowledge your accomplishments, be kind to yourself, seek support and continue practicing, practicing and practicing the new habit.
An article written by Doug Vermeeren (www.douglasvermeeren.com) states, “The Traditional goal-setting formula most people follow was developed in the early 1900s in manufacturing to enable company executives to monitor the number of units coming out of a factory by a certain date. It’s a great measuring stick if you’re manufacturing products, but if you are trying to improve yourself or achieve something non-tangible, it’s a woefully ineffective and out-of-date process. For example, if your goal is to have a better relationship with your spouse, the traditional goal-setting formula simply won’t work.”
I realized after reading this information it is no wonder we become discouraged when the plan we devise to change our behaviors and habits does not work. What can we do differently?
Let’s take for example a mother wants to spend more time with her family at night instead of everyone doing their own thing. On New Year’s Day all the members of the Peach family sat around the kitchen table and discussed what each person would have to do each night so they could spend more time together. Their plan:
• Sally, mother, will help the children with their homework while dinner is cooking.
• Steve, father, will finish cooking the dinner when he gets home.
• Billy, 10 year old son, will walk the dog after everyone finishes eating.
• Susie, 7 year old daughter, will help her mother and father clean the kitchen after dinner.
When the kitchen was cleaned and Billy came back from walking the dog they played different board games and one night they worked on a 1000 piece puzzle. Everyone had a great time laughing and spending time together.
This plan worked for about two weeks and then everyone went back to their old routine of doing homework after dinner, taking forever to clean the kitchen and too tired to play any games.
What could they have done differently to ensure they would continue spending time together after dinner instead of going back to their old routine? The answer is to support each other in practicing this new behavior. An example: Susie had to finish a project which had to be done that night. Instead of the other family members doing their own thing they could have all worked together on the project and spent time together.
Changing a habit takes practice. We have our old habits for a very long time and changing them sometimes is hard work. The secret for changing a habit is to practice, practice, and practice the new behavior. Some steps you could take in changing your behaviors:
1. Decide what behavior you would like to change. Example: Pay my bills on time.
2. Determine what small steps you are going to take. Example: Schedule time in your calendar when you will pay the bills. This appointment is not to be changed.
3. If you want to revert back to your old behavior, think about the benefits of accomplishing the small step. Example: After paying your bills on time there won’t be any late charges for that month.
4. Seek support from a friend or family member. Together you can accomplish more with a team effort than alone.
5. Keep reminding yourself about your new behavior. Write it on a piece of paper and keep it in a place where you will see it all the time.
6. Celebrate after you have taken that small step.
7. Be kind to yourself if you slip. As my mother used to say, “Rome was not built in a day.” It takes time to change our behaviors.
8. Practice, practice and practice some more.
In a nut shell: Instead of making New Year’s Resolutions that are forgotten in a short period of time, change your behaviors by taking small steps, acknowledge your accomplishments, be kind to yourself, seek support and continue practicing, practicing and practicing the new habit.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Love Yourself - It Matters!
To watch the video click on the button in the middle of the screen.
My wish for all of you in 2008 is that you experience your greatness, feel your power and make a difference in your world and others.
Happy New Year!! Helen
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