STRENGTHENING YOUR NEGOTIATION AND HAPPINESS SKILLS

Jeffrey, my seven year old grandson and I spent last week together while his parents were on vacation. We had a great time together and learned a great deal from each other. I learned how to negotiate, different science terms and strengthened my math and spelling skills.

During the first hour of our special vacation together we devised a plan we both would follow. Jeffrey’s rule was he would go to bed at 8:30pm instead of 8:00pm. My rule was we would not disagree. Keeping his rule was easy and following my rule a little difficult.

We were both learned how to express our feelings without getting angry and finding a solution together for the situation. Negotiating with a seven year old is quite a learning experience. At one point he told me that all I had to do was remind him about his rule because sometimes he forgets.

We both bought journals. We now each have a personal journal to write whatever we want and a happiness journal that we are sharing. In our happiness journal we wrote what made us happy each day. It is amazing what little things make a child happy and how complex we are as adults.

I invite you to strengthen your negation skills with yourself and become aware of what little things make you happy. Following is an exercise which will help you with your negation skills and becoming aware of what makes you happy.

• Every time you have a negative thought, STOP, and ask yourself, “Is this thought making me happy and if not what can you tell yourself instead.
Example:
1. Thought, “I would love that piece of cake.”
2. STOP and ask yourself, "Is this thought making me happy."
3. Answer “Yes, for the moment and later I will beat myself up for eating it.”
4. Another Thought, “I am so happy I have kept my commitment to eat healthy for today.”

• Keep a small journal in your pocket and every time you have a happy thought write it down.

• Several times during the day read the happy thoughts. I am sure it will put a smile on your face.

• At the end of the day congratulate yourself for negotiating with yourself and listing your accomplishments and lessons learned.

As always, I would love to her what you learned about yourself by completing the above exercise. I can be reached by leaving a comment on this blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net

It is officially the holiday season and now is the best time to take care of YOU. Remember the key is keeping your commitment to a healthy lifestyle and BEING KIND TO YOURSELF.