"Friendship with oneself is very important
because without it
one cannot be friends with anyone
else in the world."
Eleanor Roosevelt
Being your own best friend is the hardest accomplishment we will ever achieve in our lives. Do you sometimes think, “I would never want to be my own best friend?”
Relax, you are not alone.
It is so easy to have thoughts that will make us feel miserable and take the sail out of our winds. Why does this happen? Some of us were taught as children, don’t brag about your accomplishments because no one will like you.
Having no one like us could be the most tragic thing in our lives. Everyone wants to be liked even if our behavior sometimes does not indicate this feeling. We are all in conflict with wanting to be liked and protecting our ego.
What is a person to do?
Let’s stop now and take a bend in the road. It’s bragging time at the old homestead. Starting this moment put a smile on your face and think about three accomplishments you are proud of and want the world to know. Don’t worry no one will hear you.
How do you feel?
Excited and scared at the same time. It is only natural to feel this way and with practice your new behavior of acknowledging your accomplishments will feel acceptable.
Start slowly! Below are some easy steps you can take for becoming your own best friend.
• Standing in front of the mirror with your eyes closed say, “I am beautiful.” When you feel comfortable slowly open your eyes, look in the mirror and say, “Hi.”
• Closing your eyes at night before going to sleep, tell yourself, “I am my own best friend.”
• Write down in a special journal your accomplishments during the day and how you feel.
Taking the time to treat ourselves special increases our self-confidence, makes us happier and we are kinder to ourselves and others.
Remember treat my best friend, _____________ like the special person he/she has become.
Now It is Your Turn:
Please try one or all of the exercises above and let the Love Yourself – It Matters Community know what miracles start happening in your life. It is bragging time at the old homestead.
Helen
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Changing Your Perspective on Life
Greatness comes not when things go always good for you,
but the greatness comes and you are really tested
when you take some knocks, some disappointments,
when sadness comes. Because only if you have been
in the deepest valley can you ever know how
magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.
Richard Nixon
While reading Richard Nixon’s quote what thoughts pop into your head? Are you thinking, why do I have to experience the knocks, disappointments, in order to feel magnificent?
Here we go again, “Life’s golden rules.”
What I have been learning from life’s journey, the road to a magnificent life is paved with joy, sadness and lessons learned. Sometimes we have to experience hardship to learn from our experiences. By growing and learning we begin to see life from a different perspective and our life changes.
What always comes to mind, an alcoholic saying he is a grateful for being an alcoholic. When I first heard this expression, I thought they were crazy. What they were actually saying was by being in a 12 Step Program they learned how to change their outlook and today their life is filled with miracles.
We all have a choice when experiencing distressing circumstances we can either continue feeling sorry for ourselves or search out solutions.
Most people are immediately thinking what can I do right away instead of taking the time to grieve the loss and acknowledge what happened. We are often in a state of shock.
I was working with a client who was told by her doctor to lose weight or she would have to start taking insulin shots. After hearing this news she wanted to stop eating completely and show everyone she could lose weight in a short period of time.
Her plan did not work.
Walking into the house she started eating non-stop. During her coaching session that afternoon we discussed her distressing news and a healthy approach for solving the problem.
Below are some of the small steps Ida took:
•When she felt bad to let the feelings flow.
•Each day take small steps.
First week:
Ate a healthy breakfast.
Made an appointment with a Nutritionist
Marched in place for a minute in front of the television.
Did something nice for herself
Second week
Followed a healthy eating plan
Exercised for 5 minutes a day
Made an appointment with an exercise trainer
Did something nice for herself
Additional Weeks
Followed a healthy eating plan
Followed an exercise program
Did something nice for herself on a daily basis.
Ida had been following this plan for awhile, lost 50 pounds and never needed to take insulin shots. By acknowledging the deepest valley and taking steps to change her perspective she eventually reached the highest mountain.
Now it is your turn:
What situation in your life would you like to change? The key is to acknowledge what happened, give yourself time to grieve and at the same time take a small step. What small easy step can you take that will make a difference?
Remember nothing hard or scary at first.
Love Yourself – It Matters! Community is here to support you in anyway. Please let us know how you are doing by leaving a comment on this blog.
Helen
but the greatness comes and you are really tested
when you take some knocks, some disappointments,
when sadness comes. Because only if you have been
in the deepest valley can you ever know how
magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.
Richard Nixon
While reading Richard Nixon’s quote what thoughts pop into your head? Are you thinking, why do I have to experience the knocks, disappointments, in order to feel magnificent?
Here we go again, “Life’s golden rules.”
What I have been learning from life’s journey, the road to a magnificent life is paved with joy, sadness and lessons learned. Sometimes we have to experience hardship to learn from our experiences. By growing and learning we begin to see life from a different perspective and our life changes.
What always comes to mind, an alcoholic saying he is a grateful for being an alcoholic. When I first heard this expression, I thought they were crazy. What they were actually saying was by being in a 12 Step Program they learned how to change their outlook and today their life is filled with miracles.
We all have a choice when experiencing distressing circumstances we can either continue feeling sorry for ourselves or search out solutions.
Most people are immediately thinking what can I do right away instead of taking the time to grieve the loss and acknowledge what happened. We are often in a state of shock.
I was working with a client who was told by her doctor to lose weight or she would have to start taking insulin shots. After hearing this news she wanted to stop eating completely and show everyone she could lose weight in a short period of time.
Her plan did not work.
Walking into the house she started eating non-stop. During her coaching session that afternoon we discussed her distressing news and a healthy approach for solving the problem.
Below are some of the small steps Ida took:
•When she felt bad to let the feelings flow.
•Each day take small steps.
First week:
Ate a healthy breakfast.
Made an appointment with a Nutritionist
Marched in place for a minute in front of the television.
Did something nice for herself
Second week
Followed a healthy eating plan
Exercised for 5 minutes a day
Made an appointment with an exercise trainer
Did something nice for herself
Additional Weeks
Followed a healthy eating plan
Followed an exercise program
Did something nice for herself on a daily basis.
Ida had been following this plan for awhile, lost 50 pounds and never needed to take insulin shots. By acknowledging the deepest valley and taking steps to change her perspective she eventually reached the highest mountain.
Now it is your turn:
What situation in your life would you like to change? The key is to acknowledge what happened, give yourself time to grieve and at the same time take a small step. What small easy step can you take that will make a difference?
Remember nothing hard or scary at first.
Love Yourself – It Matters! Community is here to support you in anyway. Please let us know how you are doing by leaving a comment on this blog.
Helen
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
False-Starts
Are you working toward a goal? Have you set a plan to meet that goal?
You have? Great!
Now… toss it.
That’s right, toss your plan right out the window.
“What’s this?” you ask? Has Helen, lost her marbles? Well, yes and no…
This may sound unusual but, in most cases, when we set a “PLAN” to meet a goal, it is typically, what I’d like to call a, ‘false start’.
Maybe you will recognize a ‘false start’ as I try to explain…
• You really want to loose weight. Before you can start watching the food you eat, you have to check your family calendar, (and your work calendar and your kids’ calendars…) to see when this plan will fit in your life.
• You want to create better relationships. You “plan” to buy a book and read it IN ITS ENTIRETY, before accepting an invitation that may offer you a new opportunity.
• You want to exercise more. BEFORE you can lace up a new pair of running shoes, you PLAN to listen to a 4 hour CD about the dos and don’t of getting in shape.
Now, before I continue…..THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with these steps.
Nothing wrong about doing some research or educating yourself.
The ‘PLAN’ breaks down when it takes much longer than needed or delays you from taking real action toward your goal.
My experience of helping individuals to effectively achieve their goals has helped me to immediately identify these ‘false-starts’. Clients typically are unaware of their seemingly good intentions. Having a good listener or coach, supporting you, is the best way to help you avoid this common issue.
And know this, we have all done this. Even me!
Helen’s SOLUTION:
Stop the false starts…they are nothing more than an excuse or excellent method of procrastination. Eliminate them all.
Breathe deep and promise yourself to take a small step TODAY. An example, “I will genuinely compliment someone for a job well done.”
Helen’s Incentive TIPS:
Like I said, I too, am guilty of many false-starts. This month I offer you some of my daily secrets for staying in action.
• Each Morning: Decide the small step you are going to take that day. Give yourself a beautiful gift of practicing the same step until you feel comfortable.
• During the day. Be aware of your accomplishments and lessons learned.
• At Night: Acknowledge yourself for your accomplishments and lessons learned.
Reminder: Review the lessons learned and adjust your small steps where needed. Work with a friend or join a support group so you receive and feel supported for each milestone accomplished.
Action Step: Now it’s your turn!
Let the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community be part of your support circle. Leave your comments on how 'False Starts' have stopped you in the past and what steps you take now to stay in action.
Helen
You have? Great!
Now… toss it.
That’s right, toss your plan right out the window.
“What’s this?” you ask? Has Helen, lost her marbles? Well, yes and no…
This may sound unusual but, in most cases, when we set a “PLAN” to meet a goal, it is typically, what I’d like to call a, ‘false start’.
Maybe you will recognize a ‘false start’ as I try to explain…
• You really want to loose weight. Before you can start watching the food you eat, you have to check your family calendar, (and your work calendar and your kids’ calendars…) to see when this plan will fit in your life.
• You want to create better relationships. You “plan” to buy a book and read it IN ITS ENTIRETY, before accepting an invitation that may offer you a new opportunity.
• You want to exercise more. BEFORE you can lace up a new pair of running shoes, you PLAN to listen to a 4 hour CD about the dos and don’t of getting in shape.
Now, before I continue…..THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with these steps.
Nothing wrong about doing some research or educating yourself.
The ‘PLAN’ breaks down when it takes much longer than needed or delays you from taking real action toward your goal.
My experience of helping individuals to effectively achieve their goals has helped me to immediately identify these ‘false-starts’. Clients typically are unaware of their seemingly good intentions. Having a good listener or coach, supporting you, is the best way to help you avoid this common issue.
And know this, we have all done this. Even me!
Helen’s SOLUTION:
Stop the false starts…they are nothing more than an excuse or excellent method of procrastination. Eliminate them all.
Breathe deep and promise yourself to take a small step TODAY. An example, “I will genuinely compliment someone for a job well done.”
Helen’s Incentive TIPS:
Like I said, I too, am guilty of many false-starts. This month I offer you some of my daily secrets for staying in action.
• Each Morning: Decide the small step you are going to take that day. Give yourself a beautiful gift of practicing the same step until you feel comfortable.
• During the day. Be aware of your accomplishments and lessons learned.
• At Night: Acknowledge yourself for your accomplishments and lessons learned.
Reminder: Review the lessons learned and adjust your small steps where needed. Work with a friend or join a support group so you receive and feel supported for each milestone accomplished.
Action Step: Now it’s your turn!
Let the Love Yourself – It Matters! Community be part of your support circle. Leave your comments on how 'False Starts' have stopped you in the past and what steps you take now to stay in action.
Helen
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