“Feeling gratitude and not expressing
is like wrapping
a present and not giving it.”
William Arthur Ward
Tomorrow in the United States we are celebrating Thanksgiving Day. I thought the day was about getting together with family members, eating turkey, all the other foods associated with the holiday and feeling sick because I ate too much. It never dawned on me it was a day of thinking about what you are grateful for and sharing your thoughts with others.
Many years ago when I first started on my self-growth journey, I was at a seminar and the leader suggested that we share what we were grateful for at our Thanksgiving meal. My first taught was that my family would think I was crazy and I was not going to do it. The next day I made a decision to try the exercise.
While everyone was enjoying our Thanksgiving meal, with fear in my stomach, I asked, “Everyone to say one thing they were grateful for.” At first everyone looked at me with that look in their eyes. Then my husband said, “He was grateful for being with everyone today.” Everyone joined in and it has become a family tradition to list our grateful list during the meal.
What I am grateful for this year:
• Personal Growth. I have grown personally by leaps and bounds. Today I look at life from a different perspective by enjoying each day as a special gift.
• Family and friends. I am so lucky to have family members and friends whereby we support each other.
• Eating healthy and exercising. Taking care of my body so I remain healthy, energized and active.
• Love Yourself – It Matters! Community. A community that supports each other in living life peacefully, happily and learns from life situations.
Now it is your turn!
Try asking everyone at your Thanksgiving meal what they are grateful for and let us know what happens. You can leave a comment on the Love Yourself – It Matters! Blog.
Also, I invite you to leave your Grateful List on the blog and share it with others.
Wishing you a happy Thanksgiving Day sprinkled with many special memories!
Helen
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Do We Need to Be More Selfish to Be Successful?
Periodically I invite other authors to publish an article on the Love Yourself-It Matters! Blog. Following is an article written by Bonnie Marcus.
Do We Need to Be More Selfish to Be Successful?
When we came into this world as infants, we were very focused on having our immediate needs met. Life was simple. With more "socialization", we began to respond to those around us and our thoughts turned outward. Our parents, friends, and teachers were more interested in finding ways to have us please them than to have us please ourselves and we lost touch with whatever internal guidance system we had. We became more OUTER directed and motivated by the approval and disapproval of others. We started to look for ways to please everyone else and if we made a decision to please ourselves and meet our own needs first, we were labeled as selfish.
As women, we have extra baggage around this issue because our society has taught us that women should be nurturers. The assumption here is that we need to take care of everyone and make sure that they are happy and healthy and all their needs are met. According to traditional roles, the fact that everyone is happy should be enough to make us happy because that is our responsibility. If everyone is happy, we are doing our jobs well. Of course, if there is some time after all this is done, it is acceptable to do something for ourselves. Otherwise, we are SELFISH.
These limiting beliefs have so many implications for women in our society. As more and more women enter the workforce and are trying to keep their lives in balance, the stress builds. If we believe that we need to please everyone in our families, our relationships, our work place, what happens to US? How can we do all this and be successful at work too?
How many times at work have you taken on other people's needs before tending to your own?
How many times have you taken on the work of others with the attitude that "If I don't do it. Who will?"
How many times have you avoided necessary difficult conversations because you did not want to offend someone? You want to be well liked.
How many times have you not taken credit for your work well done because you want to be viewed as THE TEAM PLAYER. Perhaps you don't accept compliments graciously.
There have been SO many articles, books, blogs done about the necessity for balance in our lives and how important it is to take care of number one. What about taking care of number one at WORK? What do we need to do to advance our careers and get credit for the work we've done? Maybe we need to be more focused first on our needs and our career path than meeting the needs of everyone else at work.
Bonnie Marcus, M.Ed, CEC
Certified Executive Coach
Email: bonnie@womenssuccesscoaching.com
www.womenssuccesscoaching.com
Bonnie and I would love to hear your opinions. Do we need to be more selfish to be successful?
Please leave your comments on the Love Yourself - It Matters! Blog and Bonnie will get back to you.
Do We Need to Be More Selfish to Be Successful?
When we came into this world as infants, we were very focused on having our immediate needs met. Life was simple. With more "socialization", we began to respond to those around us and our thoughts turned outward. Our parents, friends, and teachers were more interested in finding ways to have us please them than to have us please ourselves and we lost touch with whatever internal guidance system we had. We became more OUTER directed and motivated by the approval and disapproval of others. We started to look for ways to please everyone else and if we made a decision to please ourselves and meet our own needs first, we were labeled as selfish.
As women, we have extra baggage around this issue because our society has taught us that women should be nurturers. The assumption here is that we need to take care of everyone and make sure that they are happy and healthy and all their needs are met. According to traditional roles, the fact that everyone is happy should be enough to make us happy because that is our responsibility. If everyone is happy, we are doing our jobs well. Of course, if there is some time after all this is done, it is acceptable to do something for ourselves. Otherwise, we are SELFISH.
These limiting beliefs have so many implications for women in our society. As more and more women enter the workforce and are trying to keep their lives in balance, the stress builds. If we believe that we need to please everyone in our families, our relationships, our work place, what happens to US? How can we do all this and be successful at work too?
How many times at work have you taken on other people's needs before tending to your own?
How many times have you taken on the work of others with the attitude that "If I don't do it. Who will?"
How many times have you avoided necessary difficult conversations because you did not want to offend someone? You want to be well liked.
How many times have you not taken credit for your work well done because you want to be viewed as THE TEAM PLAYER. Perhaps you don't accept compliments graciously.
There have been SO many articles, books, blogs done about the necessity for balance in our lives and how important it is to take care of number one. What about taking care of number one at WORK? What do we need to do to advance our careers and get credit for the work we've done? Maybe we need to be more focused first on our needs and our career path than meeting the needs of everyone else at work.
Bonnie Marcus, M.Ed, CEC
Certified Executive Coach
Email: bonnie@womenssuccesscoaching.com
www.womenssuccesscoaching.com
Bonnie and I would love to hear your opinions. Do we need to be more selfish to be successful?
Please leave your comments on the Love Yourself - It Matters! Blog and Bonnie will get back to you.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Every Situation Has a Silver Lining
“Sometimes things which at the moment
may be perceived as obstacles –
and actually be obstacles, difficulties, or drawbacks –
can in the long run result in some good end
which would not have occurred
if it had not been for the obstacle.”
Steve Allen
Do you sometimes feel no matter how hard you try to lose weight it is not coming off or life just gets harder everyday? You are not alone!
Steve Allen’s quote implies that in the long run the obstacle can be a blessing in disguise. I know that might be hard to accept while you are focusing on the obstacles, difficulties or drawbacks.
Think of the time when you felt life was very difficult and after awhile things started to get better. Your perception of life changed or you received a gift from the Universe that you never expected to happen.
Ida was constantly trying to lose weight and every diet she started ended in failure. She started thinking she would be heavy for the rest of her life. With that attitude Ida ate everything insight. Within a few weeks she gained over 10 pounds and became more depressed.
One day reading the Love Yourself – It Matters! Blog, she read that the secret to losing weight was “Self-Kindness.” Ida read the article a few times and immediately felt better. She got in touch with Helen and they started working together.
Ida’s thinking and behaviors started changing and before she knew it food was not her main focus in life. She started feeling better about herself, taking night courses and socializing again.
Ida worked with Helen for over 6 months and in that time the weight started melting away. Today Ida maintains a healthy weight and practices self-kindness daily. Ida is also grateful for the fact she struggled with her weight because it enabled her to become the healthy, happy person she is today.
Now It Is Your Turn!
• Take a piece of paper and describe the difficulty you are focusing on today.
• Write why it is causing you such pain.
• Describe what would have to happen to resolve the situation.
• Write the steps you would have to take to resolve the situation.
• Decide which small step you are going to put into action and by when.
• Be mindful of what miracles are happening as you are taking the small step.
Please let the Love Yourself –It Matters! Community know by leaving a comment on the blog what miracles are occurring as you are taking the small step to resolve the difficulty.
I am also available to support you in anyway I can. Just leave a comment on the blog and I will get back to you.
Remember the secret to success in every situation is self-kindness.
Helen
may be perceived as obstacles –
and actually be obstacles, difficulties, or drawbacks –
can in the long run result in some good end
which would not have occurred
if it had not been for the obstacle.”
Steve Allen
Do you sometimes feel no matter how hard you try to lose weight it is not coming off or life just gets harder everyday? You are not alone!
Steve Allen’s quote implies that in the long run the obstacle can be a blessing in disguise. I know that might be hard to accept while you are focusing on the obstacles, difficulties or drawbacks.
Think of the time when you felt life was very difficult and after awhile things started to get better. Your perception of life changed or you received a gift from the Universe that you never expected to happen.
Ida was constantly trying to lose weight and every diet she started ended in failure. She started thinking she would be heavy for the rest of her life. With that attitude Ida ate everything insight. Within a few weeks she gained over 10 pounds and became more depressed.
One day reading the Love Yourself – It Matters! Blog, she read that the secret to losing weight was “Self-Kindness.” Ida read the article a few times and immediately felt better. She got in touch with Helen and they started working together.
Ida’s thinking and behaviors started changing and before she knew it food was not her main focus in life. She started feeling better about herself, taking night courses and socializing again.
Ida worked with Helen for over 6 months and in that time the weight started melting away. Today Ida maintains a healthy weight and practices self-kindness daily. Ida is also grateful for the fact she struggled with her weight because it enabled her to become the healthy, happy person she is today.
Now It Is Your Turn!
• Take a piece of paper and describe the difficulty you are focusing on today.
• Write why it is causing you such pain.
• Describe what would have to happen to resolve the situation.
• Write the steps you would have to take to resolve the situation.
• Decide which small step you are going to put into action and by when.
• Be mindful of what miracles are happening as you are taking the small step.
Please let the Love Yourself –It Matters! Community know by leaving a comment on the blog what miracles are occurring as you are taking the small step to resolve the difficulty.
I am also available to support you in anyway I can. Just leave a comment on the blog and I will get back to you.
Remember the secret to success in every situation is self-kindness.
Helen
Monday, November 3, 2008
What To Do When That Food Craving Strikes
“Much of the satisfying work of life
begins as an experiment;
no experiment is ever
quite a failure.”
Alice Walker
Does this sound familiar? You were following a diet, feeling good about yourself and then suddenly you find yourself eating again. What happened? It does not matter what triggered you into picking up the food. This is an everyday occurrence among those in the world of dieting. Please, please do not beat yourself up. There is a solution.
I remember the time I was on a diet for almost two months and the weight was coming off. One day after leaving a Networking Event, I walked past Duncan Donuts and saw all the donuts and muffins. I heard my mind saying, “You have been on a diet for almost two months so go buy yourself a small donut, it can’t hurt. My thoughts had a good time arguing among themselves. Before I knew it, I was in Duncan Donuts ordering a cup of coffee and a dozen donuts. I was too embarrassed to buy only one donut and had the idea I would bring them home for my husband and daughters. Guess what? The donuts never made it home. The only thing that arrived home was my anger at myself for eating them.
Let’s look at what you could have done differently if you were in that situation and your loud thoughts started drowning out your good intentions. Acknowledge the thoughts and thank them for helping you. Then say out loud, “I will eat something later and right now I deserve to buy myself a fun novel.” Immediately get into your car and go to the bookstore. The idea is not to make food an option and find other activities that make you happy. The most important thing is to start that activity right away instead of waiting for later.
Following are a list of ideas you could try instead of eating something:
1. Call yourself on the phone and leave a message bragging about how you are taking care of yourself by staying on your healthy eating plan and how much better you feel.
2. Have your nails done or get a pedicure.
3. Take a long walk and think about the things in your life that you are grateful for.
4. Call a friend and see if they want to meet for coffee and, if they agree, leave immediately.
5. While walking down the street make up positive stories about the people you are passing. I love doing this it puts a smile on my face.
Now it is your turn!
Leave a comment on the Love Yourself - It Matters! Blog bragging about the different steps you are taking and your successes. I love hearing from you and celebrating your new behaviors!
If you are struggling with food and have questions please leave a comment on the Love Yourself – It Matters! Blog and I will address them in my next article.
Do something nice for yourself today!
Helen
begins as an experiment;
no experiment is ever
quite a failure.”
Alice Walker
Does this sound familiar? You were following a diet, feeling good about yourself and then suddenly you find yourself eating again. What happened? It does not matter what triggered you into picking up the food. This is an everyday occurrence among those in the world of dieting. Please, please do not beat yourself up. There is a solution.
I remember the time I was on a diet for almost two months and the weight was coming off. One day after leaving a Networking Event, I walked past Duncan Donuts and saw all the donuts and muffins. I heard my mind saying, “You have been on a diet for almost two months so go buy yourself a small donut, it can’t hurt. My thoughts had a good time arguing among themselves. Before I knew it, I was in Duncan Donuts ordering a cup of coffee and a dozen donuts. I was too embarrassed to buy only one donut and had the idea I would bring them home for my husband and daughters. Guess what? The donuts never made it home. The only thing that arrived home was my anger at myself for eating them.
Let’s look at what you could have done differently if you were in that situation and your loud thoughts started drowning out your good intentions. Acknowledge the thoughts and thank them for helping you. Then say out loud, “I will eat something later and right now I deserve to buy myself a fun novel.” Immediately get into your car and go to the bookstore. The idea is not to make food an option and find other activities that make you happy. The most important thing is to start that activity right away instead of waiting for later.
Following are a list of ideas you could try instead of eating something:
1. Call yourself on the phone and leave a message bragging about how you are taking care of yourself by staying on your healthy eating plan and how much better you feel.
2. Have your nails done or get a pedicure.
3. Take a long walk and think about the things in your life that you are grateful for.
4. Call a friend and see if they want to meet for coffee and, if they agree, leave immediately.
5. While walking down the street make up positive stories about the people you are passing. I love doing this it puts a smile on my face.
Now it is your turn!
Leave a comment on the Love Yourself - It Matters! Blog bragging about the different steps you are taking and your successes. I love hearing from you and celebrating your new behaviors!
If you are struggling with food and have questions please leave a comment on the Love Yourself – It Matters! Blog and I will address them in my next article.
Do something nice for yourself today!
Helen
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