Life Struggles

Looking At Life In A Different Way

‘Look at life as a journey and enjoy the ride. Get the most out of the detours and realize they’re sometimes necessary.’ Donna Fargo

The above quote has a lot of meaning for me. When we see life unfolding as a beautiful gift, instead of judging what is happening in our life we allow ourselves to enjoy the ride instead of fearing it.

Let me tell you a little story about Oscar whose name has been changed. Oscar had just opened a new restaurant and was worrying constantly about making sure his customers were happy and attracting new ones. When business was good, he was on top of the world and if it slowed down he felt anxious and fearful. Oscar’s advisors told him this was normal and not to worry. Then one night a customer complained about the food in a loud voice and would not pay the bill. Oscar was distraught and was thinking about selling the business because he could not take all the pressure.

After the last customer left he sat down with his manager to discuss the incident which happened that night. His manager who had worked in the restaurant business for many, many years explained what happened was not out of the ordinary. Instead of looking at it as a horrible incident what could they learn from the situation?

After discussing the situation for awhile they both realized the customer was right, because he ordered his steak well done instead of medium. What they both learned was that the chefs had to pay more attention to what was ordered instead of just guessing. They both decided to have the waiters underline in red if a customer ordered their food in a special way.

Oscar learned that sometimes when things happen in our lives they are necessary. He started to relax, welcomed the learning experiences and enjoyed his customers. Today Oscar owns two very successful restaurants.

How would your life be different if you enjoyed the ride and learned from your not so pleasant experiences? I invite you today to take one of the small steps below, to change your perspective about life.

1. If you start to worry about something, stop for a moment and acknowledge the thought.
2. Give yourself permission to worry about it for awhile.
3. Ask yourself what can I learn from this situation?
4. Think about one thing you can do to change the situation.
5. Take action.

I would love to hear from you about your different learning experiences. Together we can support each other by contributing to this community our experiences, successes and wisdom. You are invited to leave comments on this blog or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

Support From Others Creates Miracles

Inner Beauty

‘Remember that beauty works from within, it cannot be put on and off like a garment.’ Elizabeth Cady Stanton

The Elizabeth Cady Stanton quote above illustrates that it is more important to be true to yourself instead of worrying about outside appearances.

I would like to share a story with you. Susan (name changed) was overweight, decided she would stop focusing on her weight and buy expense clothes and makeup to make herself feel better. Buying the clothes and new make-up, it did the trick for a short period of time. Then Susan was back to her old way of thinking, “I must lose this weight before I can be happy.”

What the underlining message was that Susan did not like herself and was looking for something to make her happy and feel comfortable. As illustrated in the quote above until we find a way to, “Remember that beauty works from within” we will always look for the outside magic fix to make us feel better.

One day Susan was talking to a friend about her challenge and how she felt. Together they took the following steps during their morning walks and a miracle happened they started to lose weight.

1 Planned their own healthy eating plan before meeting for the walk.
2. Shared their plan with each other.
3. Discussed the challenges they were facing regarding their eating plans.
4. Brainstormed different tools they could use to ensure they would remain committed to their new lifestyle.
5. Promised each other they would follow their eating plan, no matter what happened during the day.
6. Shared for the last five minutes their successes and what made them happy the day before.
7. Each Saturday after their walk they would treat themselves and have breakfast at a local restaurant.

This routine went on for many months and what happened they both felt supported, liked the person they were inside and out and started losing weight.

What could you do today that will help you start liking yourself from within?

Remember I am here to support you in your journey. Please let me know about your challenges, stories and concerns. This is a community where we can support each other on our life’s journey. I can be reached by leaving your comments on this blog or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net. I really am looking forward to hearing from you.

Saying "No" Is a Special Gift

I was with a group of people this morning and someone made the comment, “My not taking for an answer is hurting me.” When he made this comment, I thought his ability to persist was a special gift and not a trait that was hurting him. It is amazing how we all think in different ways.

After the meeting I approached him and shared my feelings of how my persistant nature and not giving up on something I value has made such a difference in my life. We discussed this for awhile and then others joined the group. We ended the conversation by recognizing what a special gift we had by not taking “No” for an answer when we felt it was important to continue pursuing our commitment.

I would like to share Jerry’s (name changed) story with you and how important it was not to take “No” for an answer. Jerry weighed over three hundred pounds and was not able to lose the weight. He tried different diets, affirmations, therapy and nothing helped. He felt the only way to start losing weight was to go to an eating disorder rehab. The only trouble was that every rehab he called specialized in alcohol, drugs, or women with anorexia. He started to become disillusioned, but something within gave him the willingness to continue. After several more calls he found an eating disorder rehab that worked with men and Jerry took a leave of absence to go there. Going changed his life. What would have happened if he took “No” for an answer?

In what situations have you taken “No” for an answer and miracles have happened? I know in my case if I do not say, “NO” to myself every time I want to eat something not on my food plan, I would still be struggling with my weight and not maintaining it.

It is your choice to never take “No” for an answer and pursue your commitment for living a healthy lifestyle. I am extending a special invitation to join a community that realizes saying “No” is a special gift that could help you achieve your goal. Together let’s plan ways we can make sure we are living our best life. I can reached by leaving a comment on this blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

Taking Control of Your Day!

Does the weather affect your mood? If you answered “Yes” to this question, you are in the majority. It has been raining since Sunday and I have been wondering where the sun has been hiding? It is amazing how different you feel when the sun is shinning. I know there are scientific reasons for this happening and the only thing I want is to see the sun again.

What can you do in the meantime until the sun shows its smiling face? Some ideas are as follows:

1. Curl up with a good book.
2. Call a good friend and reminisce about the good times you had together.
3. Read or start a “Happiness Journal” which includes times and situations that put a smile on your face and how you felt.
4. Write a story about your life and the lessons learned.
5. Make yourself a cup of tea or coffee and think about a special day you had in your life and write about it.
6. Make a grateful list of all the things you are grateful for right now.
7. Take an umbrella and go for a short walk.
8. Go to Barnes and Noble and browse through the bookshelves. My husband’s favorite pastime.
9. Play a game with your children and the winner choices the next game or what they want for dinner.
10. Go to the shopping mall with a limited amount of money, looking for things you want and don’t spend a penny more.
11. Take your mini-vacation for at least an hour and do anything you want.
12. Go to the movies and enjoy your time away.
13. Take a nap.
14. Plan your next vacation.
15. Your choice of whatever you feel like doing right now.

You are the CEO of your life and can create it anyway you choice. What action steps are you going to take today to make it a day to remember? I would love to hear from you by either leaving a comment on my blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

‘The world is but canvas to our imagination.’ Henry David Thoreau

Commitments Make Changes Happen

What happens when you make a commitment to accomplish your goal? Take a few minutes and think about it before reading further.

Sheila (name changed) was very unhappy with her weight and facing the challenge of trying on clothes for the winter. She was worried because her summer clothes were feeling tight and guessed nothing would fit her in the fall. Sheila was very angry at herself and expressed her anger in many different ways.

One night Sheila woke up with the idea that nothing was going to change unless she changed her lifestyle. The next morning Sheila made a commitment that every morning she would write down her menu for the day and never eat anything not on her plan. As the day proceeded she kept her commitment and by the end of the day had accomplished her goal. Sheila kept accomplishing her daily goal for a few weeks. Then one day after realizing she was losing weight the old thought crept in suggesting just have some ice cream today, it won't hurt. At first Sheila felt it was a good idea until another thought reminded her of the commitment she made to herself. A miracle happened and she continued following her planned menu for the rest of the day without the ice cream. What Sheila learned was that her commitment to lose weight was more important than anything else in the world and she could not change her eating plan in anyway.

Reading the story above illustrates making a commitment to lose weight and not changing your original plan you will lose weight. Some other ideas you can use to ensure you keep your commitment to yourself:

1. Every morning or evening, renew your commitment to yourself. Reminding yourself how important your commitment is to reaching your goal.
2. During the day acknowledge yourself for taking care of you.
3. Keep telling yourself that it is easy to keep your commitment. Fake it until you believe it.
4. Keep a record of how you felt when you kept your commitment.
5. Reward yourself every few days. (Example: Take a long leisurely bath with your favorite bath salts and light a candle.)
6. Visualize your desired outcome. (Example: Seeing yourself as if you already lost the weight.) This suggestion was provided by Mark. When you get a chance browse his blog, "The Naked Soul" he has such wisdom.

As always, I would love to hear what tools and techniques you use to make sure you keep your commitment to yourself. Please feel free to contact me with your stories, comments and ideas. Write to me by leaving your comments at the bottom of this article or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

Remember YOU are the most important person in your life!

Loving Yourself

Do you like who you are? How you feel about yourself makes such a difference in the way you interact with people. This statement was very evident to me this past weekend. My husband and I went away for a few days. Feeling very relaxed and confident, I found myself talking to everyone around me.

Finding out where people lived, their concerns and plans for the weekend. My husband made a comment about how friendly I was and that people felt relaxed talking to me. What a gift to be able to talk to everyone without the fear of being rejected.

Thinking back before I started on my journey of self-love I would go out of my way not to talk to anyone. I was so very fearful of people. Once I started on my journey of discovering who I was my personality changed. Today I can say without thinking twice I really like myself.

What can you do today to start feeling better about yourself? Following are some steps my clients and I have started taking daily?

1. While brushing your teeth in the morning look in the mirror and say out loud one thing you like about yourself.
2. Before leaving your house create an intention that you will brighten someone’s day.
3. When you make eye contact with another person, smile and say hello.
4. Call someone you have not spoken to in awhile just to say hello and see how they are doing.
5. At the end of the day make a list of all the times you made someone smile and how you felt.

Have fun with the experiment and let me know how you felt when you brought a smile to someone’s face. I am always available to support you in making your life a little brighter. You can reach me by leaving a comment on this blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

Ways of Losing Weight

Does this story sound familiar? I was speaking to someone the other day about her struggles with food. She was almost in tears while sharing with me about not being able to lose weight. Susan (named changed) had tried every diet on the market, unable to maintain the weight she lost and usually gained an extra 5 pounds after she went off the diet. Tears started rolling down her face as she explained, “There is nothing I can do to keep the weight off and maintain it.”

Susan felt desperate and was unwilling to start a new diet plan. She asked what other options did she have? I put on my coaching hat and asked, “What other area in your life could you focus on instead of the food?” Susan was not happy in her present job and was thinking about looking for another position in the company. I then asked, “what small step could she take to start researching a new position? Susan’s face brightened as she said, “I will check the “Positions Wanted” Board in the cafeteria.” I requested that she let me know what happens. I also asked if she was interested in a coaching partnership.

If you are struggling with your weight, think what other area of your life you are concerned about? Taking a small step to finding a solution for the other area in your life will help you with your struggle with food. It has been proven if we focus on something else we unconsciously find a solution for our biggest problem.

Here’s my invitation to you; Experiment by taking the following small steps:

1. Make a list of all the other challenges you have in your life besides food.
2. Decide which other concern you would like to work on.
3. Write a short description of the challenge.
4. Brainstorm ideas that would solve your problem.
5. Decide which small step you will take to solve the challenge.
6. Write down the step you are going to take and a date when you will start.
7. Enjoy the journey.

Have fun with the experiment and let me know about your challenge and what small step you are going to take to solve your concern. I am always available to support you in getting off the diet merry-go-round and making your dreams a reality. You can reach me by leaving a comment on the blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.
How to lose weight, dieting tips, food struggles, food, loving yourself

How to Lose Weight the Fun Way

You Are Fantastic Just the Way You Are!

Do you sometimes feel like crying because you can’t seem to lose weight? You are not alone! Many a morning I would think to myself, “I will never lose this weight; I always be overweight.”

Sheila (name changed) was a very successful business owner, loving wife and super mom. She was about 40 pounds overweight and was thinking about losing weight all the time. She tried every diet imaginable only to gain the weight back every time she stopped dieting. Even though she was succeeding in the other areas of her life she felt like a failure and had low self-esteem.

We started working together and the first area we focused on was building Sheila’s self-esteem. She took the steps below to feel confident, lovable and proud of herself. Sheila lost the unwanted unhealthy weight while focusing on her forgotten dream of dancing. Today Sheila is maintaining her weight, taking jazz lessons with her daughter and loves her life.

Some of the steps Sheila took to build her self-esteem are as follows:

1. Before getting out of bed in the morning she gave herself a big hug.
2. While taking a shower in the morning she keep repeating, “I am fantastic just the way I am.”
3. Gave someone in her family a big hug in the morning and told them she loved them.
4. Before eating wrote down what she was going to eat and only ate the planned menu.
5. Took at least 10 minutes a day to do something nice for herself.
6. Exercised for 30 minutes a day, four times a week.
7. Practiced her dance routines.
8. Before going to bed made a list of the things that made her happy that day.
9. Continued to remind herself during the day that she was safe, felt confident and lovable.
10. Asked for support whenever she felt alone and her fears were surfacing.

I invite you to experiment today and try at least one of the above steps. By taking a small step you will begin a new journey which leads to making your dreams come true.

As always I am here to support you. I can be reached by leaving a comment on this blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

How to lose weight, dieting tips, struggling with food, food, loving yourself

Take a good look at yourself... and grow your business

OK, so why the picture you ask or maybe it is more like why and what the…? The picture was taken at an event called the Avon Breast Cancer 3-Day. In this event over 3000 people walked 67 miles from Leominster MA to Boston. You heard it, 67 miles in 3 days on 2 feet.

My wife and I had walked it the first year and for the next two years we joined the crew of 500 or so volunteers that supported the walkers. Our crew team ran a pit stop; our goal was to provide treats, fluids and moral support for the walkers. As you might have guessed our team theme was tooth fairies (yes that is a toothbrush in my mouth). Sometimes you have to step outside of the comfort zone and adopt a less serious approach. At the end of those three days, despite the benefit of a megaphone (the one in my right hand, not the pretty plastic one) I had no voice left. Let me tell you, it is some challenge to keep people charged when they are physically and emotionally worn. Let’s face it, these people walked for a lot of reasons. Some of them are breast cancer survivors themselves; others are walking in honor of loved ones lost to or still battling this devastating disease. For me, it was in memory of my Mom who had breast cancer yet died of other causes and a dear friend who battled the disease for many years, ultimately to succumb.

But this is not a sad story; in fact this experience was the most life-changing of my time on this earth. Each of my three years participating in this event, I was fortunate to be amongst amazingly selfless people. To say I was humbled does not come close to describing the feelings that surged through me. The tears flowed freely as did the joy, the cheers and the hope. There is no place I would rather have been, no experience that would have satisfied me more profoundly. I discovered strength and passion in me I had no idea existed, not to mention what I learned of so many others.

OK, so what does this have to do with business anyway? Well, here are my thoughts. A business is first, about people; employees, clients, the public at large, and so on. The common denominator in business is people. Yet, when we get caught up in running a business (or for that matter being in business) it’s easy to lose our appreciation for those people upon whom our business depends. That is not something we can afford to do. My 3-Day experience taught me a lot about how I look at myself and at others. You have heard the old adage ‘walk a mile in my shoes’. How about walking a mile alongside yourself? What would that be like? Take a close look at your day to day. How does it feel? What would it be like to be your own employee, a client or even your boss? Do you know yourself this well? If you do I congratulate you as I suspect you are in the minority. If you do not, my challenge to you is that you start the journey. When you do, you will be enriched in ways you cannot imagine.

I know; it took me three days and 67 miles. Start walking...

Ed Drozda, MBA is an Organizational Advisor and Business/Executive Coach with E & D Associates, a firm designed to provide companies with the support and guidance needed to maintain their business and facilitate growth. Whether an organization is struggling to set goals or find ways to achieve them, E & D’s talents and expertise successfully help companies and individuals explore new and creative ways to increase customer and employee satisfaction; decrease staff turnover; and boost overall revenues.

“Many businesses approach me because they think they are having trouble finding the right team,” says Drozda. “In most cases, they have the right team, but they are lacking a solid plan of communication and teamwork. That type of problem can impact everything from office morale and employee productivity to overall revenues. That’s where our services can help.”

To arrange a no obligation exploratory session, visit http://www.4eandd.com or call Ed at 508-695-2146.

Struggling with Food

In the midst of winter,
I finally learned there was in me
an invincible summer.
Albert Camus, French writer


Reading this quote what do you think about? When I read this quote, I thought about the times when I could not stop eating and was afraid I would continue eating forever. Then by taking small steps eventually I was able to start eating a healthy diet, exercising and enjoying my life.

Virginia (name changed) never had a problem with her weight as she was growing up until she had her second baby. During her two pregnancies she gained 50 pounds and was unable to lose the weight. Never knowing how to diet she asked her friends what should she do. Virginia then started trying every diet her friends told her about, would lose weight and gain it back when she stopped following the diet. The sad part was she became obsessed with her weight.

Virginia and I started working together and she very quickly stopped dieting, found a healthy eating plan and started pursuing her forgotten dream of becoming a yoga instructor.

Some of the small steps Virginia started taking are as follows:
1. Created a different eating plan each night and followed it the next day. Until she felt comfortable with the plan and found she was losing weight.
2. Interviewed different yoga instructors to discover if this was what she really wanted and the requirements for becoming an instructor.
3. Taking the necessary steps to becoming the yoga instructor she always dreamed about.

If you feel you are living in the midst of winter in your life what small steps can you take to find your invincible summer? I am here to support you in anyway I can. There are two ways to contact me either leave a commit on this blog or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

Focusing On One Day at a Time

‘We never have more than we can bear.
The present hour we are always able to endure.
As is our day, so is our strength.
If the trials of many years were gathered into one,
they would overwhelm us…
but all is so wisely measured to our strength
that the bruised reed is never broken.’
H.E. Manning

What great advice H. E. Manning’s quote illustrates, to only focus on the present moment instead of thinking about what happened in our lives and what the future brings.

Jan (name has been changed) was at her wits end, trying to control her binge eating at night. Every day she would skip breakfast, eat a salad for lunch and a bagel for dinner. Then around 7:00pm every night she would become very hungry and promise herself that she would only eat half of another bagel. Guess what happened, once eating the bagel she would start eating ice cream, cookies and anything else she could get her hands on. After finishing eating she would get into bed and hate herself. The next morning she would exercise for 2 hours and promise herself today would be different. Jan continued this routine for three years.

One day deciding to find another way of living she called me. We started working together and she took very small steps to change her behavior. Today Jan follows a healthy eating plan and is committed to her new lifestyle. Following are some of the small steps Jan takes everyday to ensure she maintains her recovery from binge eating.

1. Getting out of bed each morning Jan writes down a menu of all the foods and beverages she will eat during the day.
2. Eating only the food on her planned menu.
3. Drinking a cup of tea while preparing her meals.
4. Eating meals sitting down either in her kitchen or in a restaurant.
5. Cleaning-up after she is done eating and never eating anything while she is cleaning.
6. Taking a 10 minute mini-vacation everyday. Doing something for herself she really enjoys.
7. Writing in her beautiful Happiness Journal what made her happy during the day and a short sentence describing the event.

By following this Loving Yourself Plan and only focusing on the present moment Jan is able to maintain her goal weight and live a live filled with self-respect, happiness and the knowledge she is taking care of herself.

As usual, I would love to hear from you. Please let me know how you are doing on your journey of life or if you need any support. You can either leave a message on my blog or send me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

Within You Is the Power...

‘If you are distressed by anything external,
the pain is not due to the thing itself but to
your own estimate of it; and this you have
the power to revoke at anytime.’
Marcus Aurelius

When I read the quote above by Marcus Aurelius, I thought what is he talking about. I don’t have control over everything happening in my life. Thinking about the quote I realized either we can feel like we have no control over the situation or think about what lesson there is to be learned and how to live in the solution.

Here’s my invitation to you: Experiment by taking any of the following small steps:

1. Next time your food craving pops its ugly head instead of running for something to eat, think about a time when you were with a friend and laughing. By changing your thinking you will stop thinking about the food.
2. Something happens and you feel angry, think about the hidden message you are receiving. An example: You can’t find your keys. The hidden message is to have a special place where you always leave your keys.
3. Angry at yourself for something you did. Start to laugh at yourself and see what happens.

Have fun with the experiment and let me know what happens. I can be reached by leaving a comment on this blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.

Eating Healthy While on a Day Trip

Do you have trouble eating healthy when you take a day trip? I remember always thinking I can eat anything I want because I am on vacation. Then when I returned home the vacation eating mentality continued until I started my next diet.

Yesterday my grandson Jeffrey and I went to the Aquarium for the day. I decided to make a picnic lunch so we didn’t have to worry about finding some place to eat. Wednesday night we both decided what we wanted to eat the next day.

We got to the Aquarium which was very crowded and after watching a few shows and looking at the different types of fish. Jeffrey and I had lunch. While we were eating, Jeffrey commented he really liked having a picnic because he had his favorite foods and we did not have to stand in the long lines. Not only did we eat healthy we had more time to visit the different exhibits. We both loved the sharks swimming over our heads and being able to touch the sharks. It was really a fun day!

Following are some ideas you can use on your day trip to ensure you will eat healthy:

1. Plan what you are going to eat the day before.
2. Order a fruit cup for desert.
3. Leave the table and go to the rest room if the desire to eat something on the table is not on your food plan.
4. Keep reminding yourself, “You are special and deserve to take care of yourself.”
5. Have fun and enjoy the day!

I would like to hear what tools and techniques you use to ensure you eat healthy while on a day trip. Together we can create a list that can be used by anyone during their eating healthy journey. I can be reached either by leaving a comment on the blog or sending me an email at helen@loveyourselfcoaching.net.